Saying Yes to Life

Learning to say yes

I read somewhere once that before we can say ‘yes’ to something, it’s important that you also are able to say ‘no’. Learning to say ‘no’ is definitely something that needs practice for some of us and for me, it’s been a sometimes challenging practice. As I step into 2019 though I feel the wheel is turning and that this is to be a year for saying ‘yes’.

As yet, I have no idea what that means but there is a general sense of wanting to take it on as a practice. It can be too easy to turn away from life sometimes and stay within the parameters of our own comfort zone. Saying yes can be a way out of that and a way to counteract the various forces that would have us limit ourselves to what we already know. It requires participation and a willingness to open ourselves up, perhaps to failure or some other imagined outcome or catastrophe our mind has conjured up for us. It also requires trust – that whatever happens when we participate – we will survive. Or perhaps not? Perhaps saying yes involves significant risk. We have to realistically weigh up our motivations and the possible consequences. 

I’m guessing though that most of the opportunities for saying yes that we meet in everyday life are reasonably harmless and that are unlikely to result in physical harm. What I am veering towards here is really an attitude to life. Do we want to shy away from fear of failure or getting it wrong, perhaps looking like an idiot or losing face or do we want to step forward and open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities to grow? Saying yes can help move you through your resistances and transform your relationship to life and how you live it. 

I see this really clearly in two different people I am close to in my life. One has a deep distrust of any opportunity or invitation to take on something new, the other says yes to everything and grows in multiple directions, essentially because they really don’t care about what anyone else thinks of them. As a consequence they are consequently learning new skills and expanding their talent.

Every moment is an opportunity to say yes to our experience

Ultimately it’s fear of death that keeps us small. Maybe we think we are running out of time so what’s the point? Why open ourselves up to anything new? Surely better to play it safe and stay secure in what we know? The truth is, the future is unknown so what not take part in life? Our soul is here to experience life in all its various manifestations, not to ‘get it right’. All we need to do is participate and step forward with an openness in our heart to the richness of life. Every moment is an opportunity to say yes to our experience, just as it is and to be here as fully as we can.

We can also say yes to ourselves. What is it you would like to manifest in the world this year? What lies hidden away that you would like to bring forth and give life to? It may fail spectacularly or run aground on some unforeseen circumstance but at the very least you will learn something about yourself. And it may take you somewhere you hadn’t thought of. It may take you somewhere you decide you don’t want to go after all but then you will know and you can say yes to something else instead. But you will never know unless you say yes in the first place.

Say yes to being here

At some point you said yes to life and so you are here. You may have had experiences along the way or very early on in life that made you fear life, but the fact is you are here and life is waiting for you, always. There is nothing you need or have to do, or prove. You came here to enjoy life in all it’s manifestations and to express the richness of who you are, no matter how that appears to the rest of the world. Whatever judgements the world throws at you they are invalid. This is your life and the only way to live it is the way you choose, with all the consequences that entails. Say yes to being here and to making the most of this incredible opportunity to experience being in a human body on this earth.

By saying yes to our breath we say yes to life.

Breathwork is one way of training ourselves to say yes. Every experience that comes our way we have the opportunity to fully live it or push it away. Joy, bliss, pain, grief anger, sadness, ecstasy, frustration, boredom, resistance, love, excitement, lust, anxiety, shame or peace. All can move through us unexpectedly. Can we say yes to our experience without judgement? Much of the tension in our bodies and the conflict in our minds comes from pushing away our experience. Breathwork enables us to experience what we have rejected of ourselves in the past and helps us accept what we encounter in the present. Gradually we say yes to more of ourselves and gradually we say yes to being in our bodies and becoming present to life.

It also allows us to breathe life into what we wish to say yes to, enabling us to manifest our self expression and realise our intentions for a fulfilled life. It gives us the ability to gradually embrace who we are and what we are here to do in this life, breath by breath and moment by moment. Every single moment of our lives we have the opportunity to be conscious of our breath and our connection to life, actually being in this moment just as it is. By saying yes to our breath we say yes to life.

As I near the end of this article I see that a message has come in on Facebook from my friend and neighbour. He’s asking if he thinks we could play a ceilidh in two months time (he plays fiddle and I play guitar). I’ve never played a ceilidh before. We also need to find an accordion player and maybe a drummer.

I said yes of course.

Blessing to you in your life

John Paul

January 2019